Word Meanings
Word Meaning Contest
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to
supply alternate meanings for various words.
----------------------------------------------
The following were some of the winning entries:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
-------------------------------------------
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
----------------------------------------------
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
----------------------------------------------
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
----------------------------------------------
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
----------------------------------------------
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.
----------------------------------------------
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
----------------------------------------------
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
----------------------------------------------
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
----------------------------------------------
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
----------------------------------------------
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
----------------------------------------------
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he examines you.
----------------------------------------------
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
----------------------------------------------
14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
----------------------------------------------
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up
on the roof and gets stuck there.
----------------------------------------------
16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist