New Element Discovered....

 Administratium 

 A major research institution has recently announced the 
 discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. 

 This new element has been tentatively named 
 "Administratium". 

 Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 
 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving 
 it an atomic mass of 312. 
 
 These 312 particles are held together by a force called 
 morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of 
 lepton-like particles called peons. 
 
 Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, 
 it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which 
 it comes into contact. 

 A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to 
 take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take 
 only a few minutes. Administratium has a normal half-life of 
 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a 
 reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons 
 and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange 
 places, and additional peons are added. 

 In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over 
 time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become 
 neutrons forming isodopes. 

 This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists 
 to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons 
 reach a certain quantity in concentration. 

 This hypothetical quantity is referred to as...."Critical 
 Morass." 

 You will know it when you see it...